The pediatrician

A sweet memory of early days here and Sebastian, back when he was twelve.

One of the tricky things about moving anywhere, but especially changing cultures and languages, is finding  good doctors. Friends had recommended a pediatrician for Sebastian and we went to his first appointment having no idea what to expect.

The doctor was a vivacious woman dressed in street clothes. She started the appointment raving about Justin Bieber and a recent concert of his that she and her daughter had attended, sharing long takes of video on her phone before she started in on the medical stuff. Midway through the exam she had an idea that Sebastian needed to meet her daughter. She immediately dialed her and put Sebastian on the phone. Somewhere between flattered and embarrassed Sebastian had a short conversation.

An invitation to the local pool followed. Sebastian had a lovely time with the doctor and her daughter even though it was a bit awkward to run into his “girlfriend” of the moment poolside. After that an invitation to go on vacation in Calabria followed (the doctor was Calabrian and so are John’s grandparents, hence our Italian citizenship). At this point John and I had a bit of a collision-of-cultures reckoning. There’s a surprising lack of formality and distancing of medical professionals in Italy compared to the US — the veil of professionalism doesn’t seem to be a thing with most doctors here. They meet you as people and equals, which is refreshing, although sometimes the specifics can be rather surprising. We had to decide whether this vacation invitation was simply the natural exuberance of this woman and normal in the more equal rapport between doctors and patients or if we should be a bit wary. By our old standards there’s no way we’d agree to this. It’s always a balancing act between my natural caution from the states, where it wasn’t safe for the kids to go alone to the convenience store a couple blocks away, with the norm of much more freedom and adventure here in Italy. Sebastian was a bit reluctant too so in the end caution won this round and we declined.

I was talking about it with Sebastian yesterday and he said that he and the daughter became quite close for a couple of years and texted often. The doctor and her daughter have returned to Calabria.