A line of Indians

(Part of a series on driving in Italy.)

When you are with a group of Italians who suggest all following one another to a restaurant, at a location about an hour away, in seven separate cars, and they aren’t sure exactly the name or location of the destination so can’t provide it for your GPS, but aren’t worried as you will all follow each other in a fila Indiana, just say no. Make up any excuse. Trust me.

This just happened to Donella and I leaving a horse show about two hours south of us. A big celebratory dinner was in order for the group, and we were off. Donella informed all of them that she’d just gotten her license and that she didn’t want to go too fast, and all agreed.

Here’s what happened. They were all perfectly well-intentioned to be easy to follow and not to lose the rest of us in line. (Of particular importance to me, as the last car.) But then then divided freeway opened up in front of the first car after the small rural roads. And the lead car saw the second car following him closely and did what any Italian’s instinct is to do. Speed up. This whole thing magnified kilometer after kilometer for our 70-kilometer jaunt. Although this was not a particularly great road—certainly no autostrada—we were all following each other at speeds up to 160 kilometers per hour (99 miles per hour) on a road where the maximum speed is 110. I was white knuckling the whole thing as our little train of cars passes car after car. We even passed an Audi. (If you remember from a previous post Audis are usually always the rude car behind you trying desperately to pass.)

Donella was in front of me, driving our old car which starts shaking madly at more than 130. (The other cars in our group included a Porsche and a Mercedes.) I didn’t want to call her to tell her to forget the whole thing because I didn’t want to take my attention off the road for a second, nor hers. I’m terrified, angry, and amused, and don’t have the language or cultural chops to take this on. I wonder what a real parent (not someone who merely pretends to be one) would do in this odd situation. The obvious thought to overtake her and then slow down—a lot—did not occur to me. I reflected that I probably wouldn’t be having this problem with a group of Americans taking a bunch of kids to dinner after an athletic event.

We reached a section of road work where we all merged into one slow lane and after that things got better. Turns out Donella had called the lead car when we were all going slowly and told them off.

When we arrived at the restaurant Donella and I were shaking. I sat next to the lead car driver, who I don’t know well, and felt struck dumb to address what I was feeling. When I calmed down a bit I asked him what happened, and he said that he saw the second car following him closely and thought that they wanted him to go faster, which he did. I guess there was some part of the concept that the car was supposed to be following that was momentarily lost. For 70 kilometers.

So, just say no.