The Artist Formerly Known as Mommy

(or “And Then There Were None”)

I am ripe for a personal rebranding. This summer before both kids left for school in London I told the family to prepare to get to know someone new — The Artist Formerly Known as Mommy. The kids looked at me with a mix of annoyance, fear, fascination, and pity. “You know, like Prince,” I added. “After he became a glyph.”

I remember the moment when my current identity started. When “Nancy” became “Mommy.” I was pregnant with Donella and John and I were taking a vacation in Italy. We were eating at a very nice restaurant when I started to cry. For a moment I wasn’t at all clear why tears were running down my face as I was thrilled to be having a baby. Then I got it and managed to sputter out to John that I was sad to be saying goodbye to Nancy while I morphed into Mommy.

Now the moment has come to change course again. It’s intimidating. Such a wide open plain of possibility. Going back to the old Nancy doesn’t seem quite right, nor does remaining Mommy. Hence TAFKAM.

Then I get a series of texts from Sebastian needing IKEA-level blow-by-blow instructions about how to log onto Vueling, check in, and get his boarding pass for his flight back to Italy. And a call from Donella with the latest ups and downs of dorm life.

A friend recently told me it’s not about the “or” it’s all about the “and.” (Ironic advice as I remember all the work with did with Carly Fiorina at HP when the and/or thing was a mantra that she’d frequently center speeches around. I scoffed loudly but it is kinda true.)

So the true art for TAFKAM will be how to blend the two prior manifestations into the future in the right mix. Shedding some things while growing others. And so much around getting to the next level of Italianness.

A friend was recently reading Norah Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck and shared this quote.

“The day finally comes. Your child goes off to college. You wait for the melancholy. But before it strikes—before it even has time to strike—a shocking thing happens: Your child comes right back. The academic year in American colleges seems to consist of a series of short episodes of classroom attendance interrupted by long vacations. These vacations aren’t called “vacations,” they’re called “breaks” and “reading periods.” There are colleges that even have October breaks. Who ever heard of an October break?”

Gotta go to pick up Sebastian at the airport. He starts his TWO-WEEK October break today…